Sept. 25, 2011

I have put on weight. It’s a fact. I’m not the same girl I was at twenty. That girl is gone and I am now 45 years old. I have noticed that when I walk into a room, that people stare at me. The first thing I think of when this happens is they are thinking of how much weight I have gained. There are reasons why I have gained weight and I will list them.

1. I have had five children–With each child I have gained weight. With some of my children I gained a lot of weight and I didn’t get back to the weight I was before, and then I would find myself pregnant again. God didn’t allow me to keep two of my children as most of you know. I lost my first child, Austin, to a brain aneurysm and I lost the last child when I was six months along. When I lost the last child, I did a lot of emotional eating to make myself feel better.

2. I had to have a hysterectomy at age 38–You would think that having a hysterectomy wouldn’t make you gain weight, but it does. I found that just a few short months after my surgery that I had gained a significant amount of weight. My hormones were all over the place and I was doing a lot of emotional eating.

3. I admit it, I’m a yo-yo dieter— Up to this last year, I was constantly trying to find some way of getting rid of this weight, which in turn was making me fatter. I have since learned that dieting is not the solution.

4. I am going through the change–It was inevitable that I would go through the change early, with the loss of my innards. lol. I am on an emotional roller coaster that I don’t think will end. I totally understand what my mother is going through. Believe me when I say that, I have been doing A LOT of emotional eating.

5. It’s in the genes–my birth mother’s side of the family is large. I had an aunt that was as wide as she was tall. Those are her words, not mine.  My grandmother was very plump and so on and so on… You can’t fight genes. Thank God I at least have my dad’s height and not my birth mother’s. She was very short. Five foot, I believe.

6. Age–at birth we start our journey of dying. Some of us live long lives and some of us, not so long. As we get older everything slows down. My metabolism has slowed significantly. I home school my three kids, so I’m sitting down for that time. I am writing on another book, and I’m sitting down for that time. The rest of the day is tied up in household chores and running errands. I don’t exercise like I used to and to tell the truth, I don’t want to.

So there it is. I have problems. I am an emotional eater, with a little laziness going on, going through the change. Others out there have the same or different problems that they can’t help. We will NEVER be those skinny little people that others think we should be. Please do me the favor after you read this and look at overweight people through their eyes. There is something going on that they have NO control over that is making them overweight. We as a society view people on Hollywood’s standards and that must stop!

I have come to a conclusion over the past few months, that I wish I would have thought of this years ago. This is who I am now and I’m proud of me. I am a wife, mother and an author. God has blessed me so abundantly and I have wasted so much of my life trying to be who I am not. So I go forward now as a new person. ME! So glad I finally figured it out. I am much happier.

To all my readers, see people as you would want to be seen. Don’t judge your fellow man unkindly, that might be you one day. :0)


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